Vendor Criticism – You Probably Aren’t Hurting Our Feelings!

I should say, you probably aren’t hurting our feelings – unless you are TRYING to.

I find myself reminding my clients throughout the planning process that they aren’t hurting my feelings when they tell me they don’t like something or that they disagree with me.  We are a society (and seems to be especially true for all you brides out there) that doesn’t like to hurt feelings.

Truth is there are always going to be things that you don’t like during the planning process – be it the presentation of an entree at your tasting, the way a linen looks or feels, the way a centerpiece turns out at the floral mock up, or even just the ideas that a planner presents to you.  Saying you don’t like something nicely helps us make sure we are helping you find exactly what you want!

I would so much rather a bride or groom tell me they aren’t loving something BEFORE the wedding than to complain AFTER the wedding about something we could have easily changed or tweaked.  I don’t know any vendor who feels differently!  Just make sure when you approach a vendor about a change, that you can give them specific details about what you aren’t liking.  Vendors aren’t mind readers – we have to have your input!

For instance, say the floral designer did a mock up of your centerpiece and you don’t love it – it’s pretty but it just isn’t quite what you pictured.  Don’t just tell them you don’t like it, tell them why.  After all, which of these are more helpful:

I hate it!  VERSUS  This arrangement isn’t quite what I had in mind, can we do more white flowers and less greenery?  

This looks awful!  VERSUS  I’m not crazy about the presentation of the entree – what are some different ways to present it?

This is gross!  VERSUS  I like the raspberry filling but would rather have strawberry in the cake – is that possible?

I look awful!  VERSUS  I am looking for something a little less dramatic – maybe a little softer on the eyes and lips?

See what I am getting at here?  The more detail about what you don’t like, the closer we can get to what you do like.  Again, we aren’t mind readers!

A bit of a warning though – the old saying “you catch more flies with honey than vinegar” really holds true here so BE NICE! Go bridezilla or groomzilla on most vendors and we will shut down and be WAY less likely to go that extra mile to help you out.  If you are nice to your vendors, they will take great care of you and go above and beyond the call of duty to make your wedding everything you hope for!

Wedding professionals might have thick skin and hard-to-hurt feelings but we don’t – and shouldn’t have to – take abuse. Constructive criticism is a great thing, being nasty about it isn’t so remember: speak up, give lots of details and be nice or leave!



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